Popular Nollywood actress and media personality, Toke Makinwa, has revealed that she would have chosen to remain in her marriage with her estranged husband, Maje Ayida, if they had a child together.
In a recent episode of her podcast, “TokeMoments,” Makinwa, who separated from Ayida in 2015 after discovering his infidelity and impregnation of his ex-girlfriend, shared her perspective on the matter. She acknowledged that many women endure unhealthy marriages for the sake of their children, and she could have been one of them if she had a child during her marriage.
Makinwa explained, “Many women stay in troubled marriages for the sake of their children. You often hear women say things like, ‘The marriage is over, but I’m staying for my kids.’ I’ll be honest; if I had a child while I was married, I might have been one of those women. This is because I also had the emotional trauma of losing both my parents when I was just eight years old. I mean, I was adopted, and I’m grateful for the life I have, but there were times when I wondered what life could have been like if that hadn’t happened.”
“So, for the sake of my children, I might have had to make compromises simply because I wanted them to have both a mother and a father. I could have been one of those women. So, I’m not passing judgment on anyone,” she added.
During the podcast, her guest, Iyabo Ojo, shared her own perspective on leaving her marriage with her children, explaining that her decisions at the time were influenced by her youth and personal history. Ojo revealed that she grew up without her biological parents and faced challenges stemming from her upbringing in a wealthy yet emotionally distant household.
She said, “I left my marriage with my children because I was young at the time. If I were the age I am now, I might have made different decisions because I’m wiser and have a better understanding of life. But back then, I was coming from a place where I had already experienced childhood trauma. You know, when you come from a wealthy home but still have to raise yourself? It was like that for me.”
“I didn’t grow up knowing my biological parents. I lived with my dad, my grandmother, and his brothers. My grandmother played the role of a mother to me. My dad, I used to call him by his name. He wasn’t like a traditional father figure; he was more like a brother or friend. He was like an uncle because he was very focused on enjoying life and didn’t have much time to pay attention to me.”
“I grew up in a situation where I didn’t even know what ‘mommy’ meant. I didn’t know I had a mother. I only met my mother when I was around seven. My parents were never married; they simply had my brother and me together,” Ojo shared.
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